November 1, 2013 | Categories: Dating & Relationships
What if we told you that in less than the length of an episode of New Girl, you could up your passion, improve communication, and feel closer to your special someone? These science-proven expert tips from popular TED Talks explain how.
Create space in your relationship
To desire your mate, leave each other for a bit, says Esther Perel in “The Secret to Desire In a Long-Term Relationship.” Our need for security, dependability, and reliability are vital to our relationships, but so are our innate desire for risk, danger, adventure, the unknown, and surprise, which can be hard to find when you’ve been with the same person for a long time. When researchers asked people when they were most drawn to their partners, about half responded, “When they’re away, when we reunite after being apart, when I see them from across the room at a party talking to another person.” So make plans to see separate friends this weekend. You’ll be more likely to appreciate – and want – each other when you return home.
Base your movie date on an action flick
Merely watching a romantic comedy causes relationship satisfaction to plummet, says McCarthy about the research findings she discusses in her TED talk. “Apparently, the bitter realization that maybe it could happen to us, but it obviously hasn’t and it probably never will, makes our lives seem unbearably grim in comparison,” she explains. So check out the latest action or adventure flick – preferably featuring a steamy male lead. Research has shown that bloodstreams pumping with adrenaline can cause residual excitement for one’s current situation, meaning as soon as the credits roll, you’ll be rushing home for some alone time.
Diana can help with:
Get Diana Kelly's weekly newsletter with freelance writing tips, resources, and her latest articles. See a recent example. Like it? Sign up.